You have all the things on your spring cleaning list accomplished, you even called your Ontario window cleaning services and had the windows done. It’s the weekend, it’s hot outside so you really don’t want to go anywhere and since the house is clean, your really have nothing to do. You find yourself bored out of your mind.
You could go see a movie, but besides the new Wonder Woman movie which you already watched, nothing good has come out recently. You could go to the swimming pool, but you know it’s full of little kids, which means swimming in some very questionable water. You could go hang out at the mall, but, wait, your city tore down the mall a few years back. You are left with nothing to do.
Just so you know; there are things you can do to help cure your boredom.
Pretend You are a Robot
Take a walk through your neighborhood with stiff, mechanical movements while making a buzzing noise with every motion. Halfway through your journey, pretend your motor breaks and just stand there for about 20 minutes. If a neighbor happens by, ask them to fix you so you can continue to home.
Jedi Mind Tricks
This will only work if you truly believe in The Force. Sit at your perfectly clean window and wait for someone to pass by, then use your Jedi powers to make them drop their wallet or stop, turn around, and go the other way. If you are really good, you will Jedi mind trick them into coming in and playing some Xbox games with you.
Sit at your clean window with an absurdly large deck of cards and wait for people to walk by. When someone does walk by, grab the card of your choice and rate them. For example, a two is low, you don’t want to be a two, fives, sixes and sevens are better, but a 10 is what you are shooting for. The Joker is the worst, even lower than a two.
If the person passing you by is everything you could ever dream of, flash them the Ace of Spades.
Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Find a word in the dictionary and say it over and over and over until it has lost all meaning and just sounds like garbled noises.
Don’t Think About Penguins
Do your absolute best to try not to think about penguins. This is really hard as when you stop thinking about penguins, you forget what you were doing in the first place. If you are still thinking about penguins, then is is quite obvious you aren’t very good at this game.
How Long Can You Hold a Note?
This might not be the most fun game, but it does pass the time. Take a really deep breath and see how long you can hold a note, do this several times and before you know it, it’s time to break for lunch.
Give Yourself a Light Show
Blink rapidly for about 30 seconds and then close your eyes really tight and enjoy the interesting light show. Just don’t try this while you are driving.
Make Star Trek Noises
Stand by an elevator or electric door at your local bank and when it opens and closes make the sound you hear when doors open and close on the Star Trek series. If you are really bored, end all of your conversations with others by saying “Aye captain.”
Go to the Library and Make Noises
Sit at the local library pretending to read a book while making a low-pitched buzzing noise while keeping a straight face. Fair warning; if you annoy the wrong person, your straight face will soon be punched.
Twitch a Lot
Invent a bizarre twitch in which you jerk your head abruptly or your eye rolls back and you sporadically cough. Go to McDonald’s, buy a Happy Meal and practice your new twitch. It’s just even funnier if you are eating a Happy Meal while doing so.
Turn on Netflix and find one of the shows you enjoy and watch it. Make it interesting by repeating every line with an Italian accent, don’t forget to shrug your shoulders and add other body movements for added impact.